


bitchslap like a pro

by doxian



Series: Homestuck Shipping World Cup 2014 [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Boners, Canon Compliant, Crying, Dacryphilia, Established Relationship, Face Slapping, Friends With Benefits, Homestuck Shipping World Cup 2014, M/M, Moirails With Pails, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Panic, Shoosh-Papping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1740797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doxian/pseuds/doxian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You could safeword out of this. He could, too. But you don't want to. Since you'd fallen into this clusterfuck of a pale relationship with him, you'd both figured out that sometimes when you flip your shit the best way for him to calm you down is to fight you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bitchslap like a pro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [letmetellyousomething](https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmetellyousomething/gifts).



> Fill for [this br2 prompt](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/19285.html?thread=4523093#cmt4523093): KK, short for knullkompis (Swedish): fuckbuddy, friend with benefits.
> 
> This... isn't quite a friends-with-benefits fic (the idea is that it's the beginning of a moirails-with-benefits setup), but I hope you still like it. orz
> 
> Includes mentions of death

You're already incoherent by the time you bang open the door to Sollux's hive. 

"Oh god oh god oh god - "

Sollux is busy playing videogames, flopped against his lateral recreational plane instead of sitting on it, ass in very real danger of fusing with his Troll Mountain Dew-stained carpet. He's in a perfectly lazy slouch with one knee bent, not a care in the fucking world, he probably hasn't moved from that position in nights. He looks up briefly from where his thumbs are flying over the game controller when you burst in, but otherwise doesn't budge.

"Don't get up! Absolutely nothing to see over here, nope, not at all, Terezi didn't just creepily smell me after a strife and tell me that I smelled like her favourite candy red while grinning her huge creepy grin at me. Why did I think it was a good idea to go in for a hug? What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah, get really close to the blind girl who can tell exactly where you are and what you're wearing with a single sniff. What a great idea, Troll Casanova, really suave!"

You're pacing uselessly around his recreationblock and gesticulating wildly with your hands. Your bloodpusher is working doubletime and it's getting a little hard to breathe, you're almost afraid you're going to explode from anxiety and all that'll be left of you is a Karkat-shaped soot spot on the floor. You think you're even beginning to tear up, god dammit. 

"She has to know. There's no way she can't know... Hold on a second. I shouldn't be here, she's probably sent the drones after me already, they'll follow me right to your hive. Today's truly a day of scintillating enlightenment for me, I'm so glad you're here for this, Sollux. I have to go."

You turn around, about to walk out just as abruptly as you'd walked in, but instead you crash straight into Sollux's skinny thorax. He's standing so close to you you can practically smell the milkbeastcurdy Dorito dust on his T-shirt. 

"You can't leave so soon, you just got here. Please, stay and continue interrupting what was a perfectly good weekend by spectacularly losing your shit all over my hive."

"Fuck you," you snap, pulling your own hair in agitation. "Not that I don't _love_ it when you pull this bullshit, trying to be all cool with your petty little jibes like you're the king of ultimate juvenile burns, but now is not the fucking time, I've got to get out of here. Step off, bro. I'm serious. Or do you _want_ to be here when the drones cull me? Oh, I'm sorry, of course you do, you probably wouldn't mind getting culled along with me, what with your massive doomboner - "

The slap to your face rings out like a shot, echoing through the air and effectively cutting your tirade short. 

"KK, _breathe_." 

"No, shut up and get out of my way, asswipe - " You go to shove him aside but your arms are frozen in place as soon as you raise them, courtesy of his goddamn psionics. He backs you into the wall and holds you there, pinning you both psionically and with his weak-ass body. 

He slaps you again. The dude may be thin but, fuck, can he deliver a bitchslap like a pro. 

" _You_ shut up. You're making absolutely zero sense right now. It's actually kind of impressive how little sense you're making. You and I both know that if TZ really wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead. And yet, miracles of miracles, you're standing right here!"

"I thought you said to not talk about miracles," you mutter, struggling with all your might against the wall of pure energy and getting nowhere. Sollux grabs your wrists in both his hands, closing his fingers around them in shackles.

"You and I also know that if you really thought you were in danger, there's no way in hell you would have risked coming here in the first fucking place. You realize TZ probably flushes you, there's no way she'd rat you out to - Oh my god, _stop_!" You're reaching awkwardly downwards, contorting your hands to scrape your claws painfully along his fingers.

"Get off me!" 

"No! Not until you calm down."

You could safeword out of this. He could, too. But you don't want to. Since you'd fallen into this clusterfuck of a pale relationship with him, you'd both figured out that sometimes when you flip your shit the best way for him to calm you down is to fight you. 

He slaps you again. And again. You go from tearing up to honest-to-god crying, but he doesn't stop until all the fight and panic has melted right out of you and you're breathing more or less evenly again, except for the hiccoughing and convulsive catching of breath. 

Now that you're thinking more clearly you realize that he's right. You're not going to flatter yourself - Terezi is so much deadlier than you it isn't even funny, and you know she's gotten trolls killed before in her ridiculous FLARPing sessions with Vriska. If she thought you deserved to die, she wouldn't have given you to the drones, she would have offed you herself. 

Your face is stinging. He isn't holding you against the wall anymore - he'd stopped the psionics sometime earlier and instead is just leaning against you lightly, his arms looped around you as you sniffle against his shirt, probably getting cherry red distress fluid all over it. Ugh, you really want to blow your nose, but you feel too comforted and safe like this to move. Tissues can wait. 

During the next few moments of silence you become slowly cognizant of a growing pressure against your stomach. So does Sollux - he practically jumps away from you like you've caught fire. 

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm awful, it's just because we're standing so close together, I don't get off on you crying on me or on you freaking out or anything. I'll get far away from you now, can we please just pretend this never happened - "

You sigh. It's your turn to grab _his_ wrist, now.

"Whatever. Stop apologizing and come back here, you four-eyed freak," you command, your voice still croaky and rough from crying. "We're not done yet. Re-commence your papping duties immediately." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, come on."

He smiles weakly and puts his arms around you again, cuddling you and gently rubbing your back. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to pull him closer and kiss his jaw, so you do. And from there it's only natural to kiss him on the mouth, so you do that, too. He kisses you back, softly and carefully. You can feel how he's trying really hard to keep a respectable gap between you. He's probably resisting the urge to press against you. You don't really think you'd mind if he did. 

"So. Ready to tell me about this properly?" he says, finally breaking away and giving you one last kiss on the cheek. There are a few red smudges of tears on his face, the sight of which makes your bloodpusher tighten, just a bit. "You know, with your usual level of yelling, not holy-hell-I'm-about-to-blow-Sollux's-windows-out yelling."

"Wow, you're so funny, I can't hold in all the chuckles from what a laugh riot you are," you say, scowling at him. 

He doesn't answer, just smirks at you infuriatingly and takes your hand, leading you to his pile in the corner of the room.


End file.
